


This Awful Energy

by extroadinlarryly



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Bottom Harry, Depressed Harry, Depression, Drinking, Drugs, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Top Louis, larry - Freeform, larry is real
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2015-09-22
Packaged: 2018-04-21 01:43:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4810142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/extroadinlarryly/pseuds/extroadinlarryly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is a construction worker who is working security night shift at a bridge they're working on in LA. Harry wants to jump.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> GUYS THIS IS MY FIRST FIC DONT KILL ME. Sorry I have to write this on my phone so none of the italics show up on here. My wattpad is the same as my ao3 if you prefer reading on there. I love you :-) follow my Twitter. @KimberlyWeihert

It was a crisp night in LA and Louis was absolutely livid due to the fact that his asshole of a boss ordered him to work security on the bridge they were repairing. He was basically only there to make sure no one vandalized the equipment and that no homeless people decided to make a home there whilst they are still making repairs. 

This bridge was in sort of an obscure side of town, decommissioned train cars sitting underneath. It was sort of spooky in a way. Louis shuddered as a particularly strong gust of wind overtook him. "Bloody hell, always me that gets stuck with this fucking job on the weekends. I should be out having a pint with my mates but no, I'm stuck here watching over a fucking glorified train graveyard." he muttered. He decides to walk to the other side of the bridge, just to be sure no one had somehow slipped past him when he was cursing to himself. 

He pulled his jacket tighter around his torso as he walked, struggling to shine a flashlight and maintain his current state of warmth. The wind continued to whip around him with newfound vigor as he made it farther out onto the bridge. The eerie sound of chains clinking against metal spun around him as he tried to focus on simply walking straight. His fringe was falling into his face and blowing every which way causing him to become even more irate. 

This is what he gets for moving overseas to come to America. He gets a shitty graveyard shift construction job and messed up hair. Moving here was supposed to be good for him. A way to start over, forget about everything. Forget about the divorce and the drugs, everything. His mom had cried when he said he was leaving. She thought it was her fault, I mean, she was the one who had to go and get remarried. She was the one who decided to have two new babies with this new guy. Sure he's a great guy and all but, Louis is the man of the house not him. Well, was the man of the house. So naturally, when his step-father moved in and asked Louis to call him dad instead of Dan, Louis left. Simple as that. 

He brushed off the memory as he continued his leisurely stroll across the bridge, he was nearly to the center when something caught his eye. 

It wasn't much, a simple silhouette against the city lights burning in the distance but, it most definitely was a person. Why the hell were they out here at two in the fucking morning on some obscure city bridge. That's just asking for trouble. Louis was taking a moment to analyze the situation, his flashlight pointed at the ground when it hit him. People don't come to bridges out here for a nice stroll through the park. The only people that walk onto bridges like this, don't plan on ever making it to the other side. 

"Oh shit." It slipped out of his mouth before he could stop it, his hand flying up to cover his lips. The silhouette turned towards him gripping the railing of the bridge tightly as he did so. The figure seemed quite tall and to be honest frankly, Louis was a bit scared shitless at the moment. 

"Wh-who's there?" The voice called out. There was an obvious trembling in his voice but it was very deep and smooth like honey. "I-I can see you there, you, you have a flashlight with you." The man stuttered out. 

Louis snapped back to reality, there's a fucking man about to throw himself off of his fucking bridge. Holy shit, fuck, what the hell do I do he thought, panicking. Fuck, composure is key. "Um, sir, can you uh please step back onto the other side of the railing?" He called out. He raised his flashlight up to see who he was dealing with. Much to his surprise, it was a man, yes, but he seemed to be no more than 19. He had a head of curly brown hair and pale tear stained skin. His eyes were bloodshot but they were a startling emerald green. Why the hell is he about to take a leap off the bridge Louis wondered. His eyes flicked down to see that the man was on the outside of the railing, leaning back against it to steady himself. Right, defusing the situation. Louis took a step closer to the man, well boy, but halted immediately when the curly hair boy flinched noticeably. 

"Please don't come any closer. Just leave me alone. Don't try to stop me. Just turn the other way like everyone else does and leave." The boy choked out. Okay, shit, this is bad. This is really really bad. Louis can feel the panic rising in his chest. He can't just turn the other cheek and walk away. Maybe he can help. Maybe he can save this boy. Maybe he can actually do something right for once. 

"Hey, um what's your name?" Louis questioned. If he could at least answer that he could maybe coax him to the other side of the railing. He shivered at the thought of not achieving that simple goal. 

"M-my names Harry" the boy, Harry, choked out, followed by a soft sob and a sniffle. Okay. His name is Harry and judging by his accent he is also from England. What are the odds of that? Two British boys ending up on the same bridge in America at 2 am. 

"Hello Harry, it's nice to meet you. My name is Louis." he spoke cautiously "I am not going anywhere until you're on the other side of that railing so if you're planning on staying over there can I at least come a bit closer? It's fucking freezing and I don't fancy standing in the middle of the bridge in the wind all night." Great Louis, be a sarcastic asshat. That's totally the way to go, he thought. Luckily, Harry simply nodded and kept his same grip on the railing, knuckles white. Louis cautiously stepped towards him and sat against the railing a good ten feet away. He let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding and rested his head against the cool railing, shivering as it made contact with his skin. He could feel Harry's eyes on him but, he didn't turn to look at him. What the hell was he supposed to say? Hey Harry, I know I've only known you for 5 minutes but you definitely shouldn't jump because life probably doesn't suck that bad. It'll get better. Promise. Louis isn't stupid. He's had friends that struggled with depression and anxiety. Shit, he was depressed when he first moved here but, he tended to drown that with the pints that he should be having right now. Harry let out a soft sob and shuffled a bit on the railing causing Louis to turn towards him. Now that he was closer he could see that Harry was quite handsome. He had these pouty lips that were raw from being overly bitten, he was too tall for his own good causing him to be a bit lanky, and his eyes...his eyes were just so vivid. 

"I know that I'm ugly Louis, you don't have to stare at me. I look worse than usual right now. Zach would've punished me for allowing myself to look like this" he muttered as he gestured to his clothes. He was wearing black jeans, brown boots, and a white shirt with a green jacket over it. Louis had no idea what he's on about but he's not sure if he should pry or let Harry speak on his own. It's not like he's been in this situation before. He had no fucking clue what to do. He figured a simple question couldn't hurt. 

"Um, who's, uh, who's Zach?" He asked softly, waiting to gauge Harry's reaction. He visibly stiffened at the name but let out a long drawn out sigh. "He is, well was, my boyfriend. We were together for 2 years. He dumped me a few days ago after I came home to find him fucking some bitch on our bed." He paused to choke out another pained sob. "He, uh, told me that I was never enough and I should just go because I'm nothing but a worthless faggot anyways. Which was great to hear from the one who was fucking you for two fucking years. The one who claimed to love you but apparently I was just a phase" he let out a bitter chuckle. Louis shuddered. He may be new to this situation but he's pretty sure laughter is not the best thing at the moment. He was about to apologize when Harry began to speak again. 

"It would've been great if he would've just never bothered with me. If he would've just stayed away in the first place. But no, he had to be all sweet and loving at first. He just had to be so good to me at first and then by the time he started to change it was too late. I already loved him. Everything I did was wrong. I was always in the wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. So he-" he stopped to catch his breath, trying to stay calm. He could feel the panic attack coming on. "He would punish me. He would hit me and starve me. If I looked at him the wrong way, that was a slap. If I disrespected him, a punch. If I gained too much weight, he made sure I didn't eat for a week so I could slim back down to his desired weight. I was his. It wasn't right. I knew it wasn't but I just, I couldn't just leave. He was my fucking boyfriend. I loved him. He took me in after I left home to get away from everything there. It just, fuck, why am I even telling you this? I don't know you. You don't know me. And after I jump it won't matter if you knew me or not because I'll be gone." He whispered the last few words and Louis was rendered speechless. He didn't exactly expect Harry to be so open about his situation and frankly he didn't know what to say. From what he could tell, Harry was a sweet boy with a kind heart. How could someone so genuine end up on a bridge ready to take that final step?

"If you're going to be the last person I ever see can I please know something about you?" Louis snapped out of his thoughts and locked eyes with Harry.  
"Please?" He muttered. 

"Oh, um, yeah sure. I'm not very exciting if I'm quite honest with you" Louis chuckled "I'm 22, and I moved to the states just recently after my mom got remarried. I'm originally from Doncaster. I have 5 sisters and one brother. I'm obsessed with football, not the American kind of course, and I like to drink with my mates to forget about all the shitty things in the world." He looked down at his feet and decided to light a cigarette. He pulled one out of his jacket pocket and located his lighter. He flicked it a few times before it ignited and he lit his cigarette. He inhaled the smoke slowly, letting the familiar burn wash over him as he held in the smoke before exhaling. 

"You shouldn't smoke you know" Harry remarked watching Louis intently, a dimpled smile spreading on his face "It'll end up killing you." Louis froze. He knows he should quit smoking. It's horrible and disgusting but it's the next best thing since he quit with the drugs. It never seemed like a big deal until you hear the words it'll end up killing you uttered from the lips of someone who doesn't seem to fear death at all. He took one more drag before putting it out on the sidewalk, letting the unfinished cigarette roll away from him with the wind. He knew Harry was still watching him and he dared to ask another question. 

"Why do you want to do it?" 

"Wha-" Harry began but Louis cut him off. "What is so bad that it has you here ready to just throw it all away?" His eyes flicked up to lock with Harry's again but this time he found him looking down at the water sitting stagnant under the bridge. The city lights were causing his eyes to glisten and the tears on his cheeks shone with various colors. 

"Do you know that feeling right before you fall asleep where nothing seems real and you sort of begin to question why you're even here? Like, everything is just an abstract concept and we're not actually part of something bigger. We're just, useless. We're worthless little specks in this huge universe with no idea what to do with ourselves. I find comfort in that. In that theory, none of my problems even matter. I don't matter, you don't matter, no one fucking matters. I have tried to drown out this ache in my chest with alcohol. I've tried to smoke the villains out of my head. I've tried to inject happiness but it never. fucking. works. You know why? Because I don't matter. I don't need to be here. Why should I bother everyone else with my existence? All I ever was to Zach was a warm body to fuck. All I ever was to my mom was a burden. All I ever was to my sister was an embarrassment. Hell, all I am to you is some insane lunatic. There is only one time when I can just detach from myself. One moment where I feel serenity. I feel at peace when I am asleep. I don't dream. I don't feel. I don't have to suffer. Sleep is the one safe place for me. I want to sleep and never wake up so naturally, that answers your god damn question of why I am at this fucking bridge and 2 in the morning. I don't want to do it. I really really don't but, what's the point of suffering when the way out is one step away." Louis was going to say something but, in all honesty, Harry was right. Life is shit, why would anyone choose this. He pushed himself up off the floor and Harry gripped tightly at the railing again. His eyes grew wide as he watched Louis lift his right leg over the railing followed by his left so they were both on the outside of the bridge over looking the city and the lonely trains. 

"Louis, what the fuck are you doing?!" Harry screeched "get back on the other side this instant" Louis just look off towards the city in silence. Harry was growing increasingly anxious. He was supposed to do this alone, no one else. Just him. He wasn't supposed to hurt anybody else. "Louis, please. I can't hurt another person. I've hurt enough people. Please" he cried out hoping to persuade Louis. Then Louis spoke. 

"Do you feel that?" He asked simply

"What I don't-what?" Harry stammered. "The wind. Do you feel that?" He asked again. Harry shut his eyes and tried to just focus on the wind whipping at his face. "Yes, I feel it." He muttered. 

"The wind brings renewal and change. It can completely change a landscape in such a short amount of time. The wind is something you can feel but not see but yet you know it is there." Louis stated matter of factly. "Okay but-" Harry began but was cut off by Louis once more. "You can't see change coming but you can feel it. You can't exactly control it. You can always hide from it but then when you emerge things around have changed and you have not adapted. Change is scary but new things open doors. Harry, you can't just give up when the wind finally starts blowing your way. You have a chance to change things." Louis voice cracked and Harry realized he was crying. "You have every right to do this. It's not my place to come and stop you but, if you choose to stay, let me help you through the change."

Harry stared at Louis dumbfounded as he stepped back over the railing and dug inside his pocket. His hand reappeared with three cigarettes in it and he moved closer to Harry so that he was mere inches away. He took his cigarettes and dangled them over the side of the railing and outstretched his other hand towards Harry. What?

"I'll throw away my killers if you let me help you get away from yours" he spoke softly coming closer. Harry warily accepted his hand and watched as he dropped his cigarettes over the side of the bridge. He used his newly freed hand to help Harry climb back over the railing. 

"Louis, I don't think you know what you're signing up for I'm-" Harry began but Louis cupped his face softly and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Do you want me to be there?" He questioned. 

"Yes" he whispered a tear sliding down his cheek. 

"Will you let me help you?" Louis wiped away his tears with his thumb, softly caressing his cheek. 

"Of course" Harry began to full on sob now, pulling Louis to him and clutching onto him for dear life. 

"I'm going to be here to help you. I promise, always" Louis spoke into Harry's hair squeezing the trembling boy. He is going to protect him. He will keep him safe. He will be that happiness for him, no matter what that means. Harry deserves happiness. He deserves the world, he can already tell. This boy barely walked into his life and Louis already knows it's all over. This is it. Harry trembled harder, his fingers gripping Louis' clothes as he whispered back

"Always"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, um I wasn't planning on continuing this but the ball is now rolling so HERE WE GO CHAPTER 2

Harry decided to stay with Louis until the end of his shift at 7 am. Louis shouldn't be finding this kid so fucking endearing. He could tell he just really needed someone to be his friend and he was more than willing to fill that position. They spent the rest of Louis' shift making small talk, Louis trying to distract him from his problems. 

"Why are you being so nice to me Louis?" Harry questioned softly, his voice hoarse from crying earlier. Louis pulled Harry closer to him and took a moment to formulate his answer. Why was he being so nice to this boy? Oh, yeah that's right, he's hopelessly infatuated with him and can't really help it. Harry had looked so vulnerable and fragile, it triggered something in Louis. Probably due to the fact that he has so many younger siblings. Harry sniffled and looked up at Louis with sad eyes. "Well?"

"I can tell you need someone right now and I just don't want something like tonight to happen to you again anytime soon. That's why I'm being so nice. I meant it when I said I'll always be here for you. If you want me to be that is. I don't have many friends around here, so, I mean, you're not like, um-"

"Louis, you're rambling" Harry giggled. He fucking giggled. Yep, Louis is a goner. "It was just a simple question. I don't think you'll be able to weasel your way out of my life after witnessing an event like tonight. I guess you're stuck with me." His face lit up with an award winning smile, dimples on full display. 

"You're lucky I've began to grow fond of you already," Louis teased, ruffling Harry's hair. "I'm quite fond of these curls you have. Curly. Hah, the name suits you." Louis decided to twist his fingers around the brunette curls a bit longer. His hair was ridiculously soft compared to Louis' feathered fringe. It was probably due to the fact that Harry's was naturally adorable whilst Louis needed a hair dryer and loads of hairspray to make himself look even remotely presentable. 

Harry let out a content sigh and allowed his eyes to slip closed, leaning in to Louis' gentle touches. This feeling was so unfamiliar to him. He felt safe with Louis. He could already tell that Louis was a gentle soul and was almost certain he couldn't hurt a fly, even if he tried. He glanced up at Louis to find him already looking down at him with a fond smile resting on his lips. His eyes were a beautiful cerulean blue, and he'd be damned if he didn't fall in love at that very moment. 

People always talk of soulmates in books and movies and half the time it's a major farce, but in this moment the world ceased to exist. The wind quieted, the roar of traffic was nothing but a muffled white noise, and the stars looked down on them and that was it. Emerald and cerulean. Harry and Louis. It was them, and only them. 

Louis' thumb ran gently along Harry's jawline, barely even making contact. Their eyes remained locked and he noticed Harry's breathing pattern change. The air became so thick and everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. 

"L-louis," Harry whispered. 

"Yes love, what is it?" He cooed softly. 

"I'm scared," Harry choked out, and Louis was about to remove his hand to pull him closer when Harry reached up and grabbed his hand, intertwining their fingers. "I don't want to be scared anymore." He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Louis'. It wasn't desperate or needy. It was sweet and trusting. Their lips moving together effortlessly, as if they had been together for years. Louis brought his hand to the back of Harry's neck holding him close and deepening the kiss. Their intertwined fingers squeezed together saying what words couldn't explain. Their lips slowed as they shared one last peck before pulling away in need of air. They were both flushed and panting, but Harry's cheeks were streaked with tears once again. 

"Hey, hey, hey, what's wrong?" Louis asked, concern clear in his voice. He kissed Harry's cheeks where the tears continued to fall relentlessly. Harry curled himself into Louis' side again before murmuring something Louis couldn't understand. "What was that, love?"

"I said, I just forgot what it feels like to be happy," he hiccuped. Dear GOD Louis is such a goner for this sweet boy. What kind of demented fuck would ever treat him unkindly, let alone lay a hand on him. Harry began to convulse with sobs again and Louis just clutched him to his chest, pressing kisses on the top of his head. They were both shivering now from exhaustion and the brisk wind, not even their body warmth was of much help. 

"Hey, lean forward a bit. I'm going to get my cell and tell my boss I have to go home." Louis spoke gently moving Harry off his chest. He could already sense that Harry was panicking so he added "We both need a good nights sleep, so you're coming over to mine." Harry visibly relaxed, shoulders slumping as he continued to shiver from the cold. Louis quickly called his boss and told him he had a "family emergency" to deal with, before standing himself and Harry up. "Alright, come on then. Let's get you warmed up and tucked in for some quality napping." He joked bumping Harry with his hips watching the blush spread across his cheeks. Harry quickly lowered his head shying away from Louis' stare. Louis stopped and lifted Harry's chin up locking their eyes. "Don't hide from me Harry. It's too late babe, I see you." He pressed a quick kiss to the tip of Harry's nose making him giggle and reach for Louis' hand, intertwining their fingers again. 

"This isn't weird? Like, I feel like this should be weird?" Harry asked gesturing towards their linked hands. "I'm sorry, oh my god. Do you think I need- oh my god, you're not just doing this because you think I need the attention right? Louis I don't need you to pity me and pretend to want to be around me or-" Louis cut him off with a searing kiss, ending the discussion right then and there. 

"I'm here to show you that not everyone and everything in the world is bad. Not everyone has a hidden agenda. People can care for you, and genuinely care for you. I will genuinely care for you, in whatever way you want me too. I'm not going to lie to you and say I'm not attracted to you because I am. I don't want you to take things faster than you want to though. This is all up to you. We will do things how you want to do them. I will give the moon and the stars, just say the word."

"Louis, I-"

"I know this sounds crazy, but something is different. I know I was meant to meet you. This was supposed to happen. I'm not letting you go because maybe things will finally start to go right. For both of us, not just me. We can both grow together. We can get through shit together. You and me. Me and you. We can be the dream team, yeah?" His soft smile and sincere eyes had Harry melting. How did he get so lucky that this amazing boy just walked into his life? Things like this are supposed to only happen in fairy tales. Maybe Louis is just his suburban Prince Charming. There's no doubt about it that Louis is the most handsome man Harry has ever seen, and probably ever will see. This really is it. 

"It's crazy, but I know what you mean. About the whole 'meant to meet each other' thing. This is just fate at work I guess. Fate normally isn't on my side but this time I know it must be." Harry gingerly smiled and continued walking, hand in hand with Louis. They both got into Louis' car and drove off to Louis' flat for much deserved nap. 

They arrived at Louis' flat approximately 20 minutes later and slowly dragged themselves out of the car. They were both absolutely exhausted when they finally got through the door of Louis' flat. "Um, I don't know if you want me to get you some stuff for the couch or if you just want to share my bed..?" Louis questioned. He really hoped Harry would just share the bed with him and maybe keep his distance if he wasn't a cuddler. He just really wanted some sleep after such a stressful night. It was currently 5:30 am and the sun would be rising soon and all hope of sleep would be lost. 

"I'm fine with sharing the bed. Just be forewarned, I'm always the little spoon so don't expect me to cuddle you up just because you're small," Harry joked causing Louis to scoff. 

"I am 5'9" thank you very much! It is not my fault that you are abnormally tall!" Louis pouted and crossed his arms. Harry smiled sweetly and pressed a kiss in between his eyebrows where they crinkled up from frowning. 

"Can we please go to sleep?" Harry yawned. "I literally don't think I've ever been more exhausted in my entire life." He walked towards the door he assumed led to Louis' room and was met by a large comfy looking bed. He then proceeded to flop down on the mattress face first. He could hear Louis giggling behind him, so he lifted his face enough to see him leaning against the door frame smiling at him, eyes crinkled. 

"At least take off your jeans and shoes before passing out, curly" Louis teased as he removed his own shoes and jeans and replaced them with basketball shorts. 

"LOUIS, we have only just met, how dare you insist I remove my clothing? The audacity of men these days," he spoke with a posh voice. He was only able to stay serious for a few seconds before he burst out laughing, covering his mouth to hide his outburst. Louis joined him in laughing and tossed him a pair of shorts. 

"If we had known each other longer we'd be having a very different conversation but at this point in time, I really just want to get some sleep so I'll let it slide that we're both wearing clothes," he gave Harry a cheeky wink and shut off the light. He could hear Harry rustling around to remove his clothing and change into Louis'. Louis laid down on his bed and waited to feel the mattress dip next to him before moving closer and wrapping his arms around Harry. The younger boy pressed himself against the older boy and felt quite at home. 

"Goodnight Harry," Louis whispered in Harry's ear, causing a chill to run down his spine. 

"Goodnight Louis, and thank you..for, well everything. I'm glad you're in my life now." Harry whispered back and snuggled into Louis' warm embrace. 

This is definitely something he could get used too.


End file.
